


Cartman's Skirt Fic

by SuperGayDad1000



Category: South Park
Genre: BDSM, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Slight Style, au where cartman only wears pink, dom kyle, don't take this seriously, kenny likes vaginas, kyle has a magnum dong, sub cartman, yes kyle wants to fuck mr.kitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26619976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperGayDad1000/pseuds/SuperGayDad1000
Summary: Cursed one-shot about what goes on in Kyle and Cartman's minds when they get ready in the morning.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	1. The Bus Stop

**Author's Note:**

> This was painstakingly written one sentence at a time over a discord server, shoutout to Lemon, Ginger Ale, and HP. You can follow Lemon at Lmaoonothanks on insta/tumblr/amino. Please don't call a hitman on me for posting this atrocity.

Cartman sat on his pink colored bed, daydreaming about Kyle's huge massive kosher cock. He sighs to himself, realizing that he might never get the chance to see it. Cartman opts for a tall glass of water, knowing that the liquid would never sate his thirst for the tall, handsome and kosher kyle broflovski. He begins making his way out of his house, the hunk still lingered in his mind. Eric steps out into the cold, and immediately feels the wind against his thighs; his pink mini skirt did little to protect his tiny wee wee against the cold.  
At the same time Cartman was heading out the door Kyle was tugging on his assless chaps and contemplating his own demons, more specifically that bigoted racist fatass that he couldn't keep out of his dreams. Kyle grabbed one of his 10 inch condoms before leaving, just in case. Kyle shoved the condom roughly in his pocket, smirking at the concept of having to use it. he fully intended to bed the plump, feminine eric cartman by the end of the day, one way or another. Kyle walked to the bus stop, his assless chaps leaving room for him to feel the nice breeze outside. As he comes up to the bus stop he sees his best friend, Stan, puking on his “cows” jersey and holding a bottle of beer in his hand like a lifeline. Kyle was madly in love with him.  
Cartman approached the bus stop, pulling down on his hot pink mini skirt, he didn't want to give anyone a free show after all. He slyly glanced over to the bane of his existence, the daywalker, but Cartman was stunned in silence to see how the leather of the boy's assless chaps hugged the ginger's thighs. Before he could look away Kyle looked Cartman up and down and licked his lips. Cartman visibly flushed, covering his face with his pink glitter gloves and turning away "kyle-senpai!!" he whined, rubbing his thighs together "don't do that!!" Kyle tipped his hat seductively, letting his ginger curls dangle in the brisk air. Speaking of such air, an abrupt gust hit the unexpecting boys, sending Cartman's skirt flowing upwards, revealing his clyde-frog laced panties. Kyle gasped, Cartman’s pink panties with green design immediately catching his attention. He turned around to look at Kenny and Stan, only to find Kenny with his nose deep in a porn mag and Stan too drunk to care, but Kyle saw. Kyle saw.  
Kenny laughed at something in his crackwhore magazine and shoved it in Kyle's face, "Look dude, don't you looooooooove pussy!". Kyle disgustedly pushed the magazine in his face aside and thought "if only you knew what I loved" and let his thoughts wander to spanking Cartman in front of the whole school for being such a slut and wearing that damned pink skirt. Kyle lulled over the idea, having to spank Cartman for his WAP. Cartman fidgeted under his searing gaze, whimpering. Kyle's head jolted up, smiling widely and moving to yank the plump boy’s hands. "Where's your cat, shawty?" Cartman gasped, covering his mouth with both his hands as he shook a little, gaining a voice of whisper. "He's at my house.."  
Cartman was blushing like crazy. Kyle called him ‘shawty’... he has such a way with words... a true romantic gentleman... these were the thoughts going through his head when Kyle yanked him by his arm away from the bus stop and back to their neighborhood. Maybe ‘shawty’ will be our always… Cartman mulled over why Kyle had asked him about Mr.Kitty, but was distracted by Kyle's vice grip on his wrist as Kyle pulled him along. At some point Cartman realized they were nearing his house and it occurred to Cartman that at this rate they were going to miss first period. But Kyle was such a jew about school, he would never skip class before, he wanted to be valedictorian and be better than Wendy so Stan would fall in love with him and suck his magnum dong. Cartman sighed and thought that anything with Kyle involved would have him begging for more.


	2. Kyle's Phat Phuckin Dumptruck Mama-Jama Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle and Cartman finally make it to Cartman's house that fateful morning, what happens next will leave you questioning your sexuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Ale, Lemon, and Grapefruity for joining to write part 2 of this monstrosity *coughs* I mean masterpiece.

The Skirt Fic Part 2 That Absolutely No One Fucking Asked For

Cartman sighed and thought that anything with Kyle involved would have him begging for more…

Cartman stared up at Kyle with his big anime girl eyes, Kyle thought those eyes were so beautiful and mysterious they probably hid the secret formula to Krabby patties. Nonetheless Kyle tightened his grip on Cartman's wrist, probably leaving luscious bruises he would lick later. His voluptuous man boobs twinkled in the light, the perfect size for his massive yaoi hands. Would he squeal like the pig he was? Kyle hoped so, playing with the hem of Cartman’s frilly little number as the trees passed by. Sweat began to bead at his temples in anticipation of tearing the clothes off Cartman’s body like a wild animal in heat. Grrrrrrrrr. Kyle practically ripped the door off of its hinges when they arrived at Cartman’s house. He was hot, heavy, and ready for some feline pussy. He dragged Cartman into the room and dumped him on the couch- like he was interrogating him(because he was)- “Where’s that cat shawty?” Cartman smiles seductively, raising his legs in the air to reveal that he was in fact not wearing any panties "cat..? you mean my pussy?" he purrs, already getting wet. Kyle begins to cower at the raw power emanating from Cartman's bussy, it seems to call Kyle "Kaaaaaaahl" it whispered, shivering Kyle comes in closer. Only as Kyle leans in Cartman's body starts transforming…  
It was as if a switch had been flipped, like Kyle was seeing him for the first time. Cartman suddenly stretched to his full height of seven feet, where there once was an expanse of plump, creamy flesh, now only a complete eight pack could be found. The sight of the tight muscle drive Kyle mad with desire. He looked up and found Cartman’s gaze, taking in his sharp jaw and pronounced cheekbones. Cartman pulled out two melons from under his shirt, “Is your little kosher dick ready for my massive, throbbing bussy?” While Cartman was morphing, Kyle felt his own body doing the same. As Cartman got taller and stronger, Kyle got smaller and weaker. All of Cartman's lost fat seemed to go directly to Kyle’s ass- and oh god it was getting bigger and bigger by the second. However, he didn’t have much time to ponder on this because Cartman suddenly squeezed the grapefruit in between his thumb and pointer finger with his big Yaoi hands and made a perfect hole that went straight through the grapefruit. Eric leaned over him, almost whispering, “Khal have you ever heard of... grape-fruiting?”  
Kyle could feel his confidence slipping away as he stared up at Cartman’s big handsome face "a g-grapefruit?" he whispers, voice ten times higher "what the hell are you talking about?" Kyle doesnt get an answer, helplessly watching Cartman lean down to unzip his pants "don't worry my little [redacted] i'll make you feel so good" the larger boy groans, already getting hard from staring at Kyle's cute uke face. Kyle covers his eyes as a flash of light emanates from Cartman's crotch and when he moves away his hand he is met with the biggest bajonking ponderous turgid abnormally long and hard edematous muscular organ he has ever seen. Kyle feels his own penis shake and regress into itself. Cartman starts using his pectoral muscles to helicopter his enormous serpentine cock and the wind generated is strong enough to blow the assless chaps off of Kyle's form. With a yelp the ginger jew landed on his phat pillowy ass cheeks, hitting Cartman’s radio in the process. Careless Whispers began to blast at full volume, and Kyle whimpered when the brunet stalked closer, his massive horse cock swaying in a majestic breeze. The scent of grapefruit permeated the air and Cartman lowered it down to Kyle’s crotch, smirking. “Oh Eric, twist it,” he moaned, “bop it,” he squealed, “pull it...”  
Eric covered a good amount of Kyle’s dick with the grapefruit alone, but he leaned down to give him head anyway. The noises that Eric Theodore Cartman made were practically other dimensional. With the grapefruit sloppy top combo, his mouth was an unstoppable vortex giving that gud gud, all the while Kyle’s ass was still getting bigger. He’s already passed kardashian status. Before kyle could release his kosher cum, Cartman suddenly stands up, leaving Kyle's dick to deflate like a balloon "hey...I reallyyy need to go to the bathroom right now y'know..." Cartman murmurs, propping up one leg on the couch beside Kyle's head "but i'm too tired to move '' Kyle’s heart drops at those words, it's not like he could get up and run away with this fat juicy ass weighing him down. but then again...maybe he would enjoy this...since it runs in the family. Without another word, Kyle opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out, accepting his face as a human toilet. "That’s a good boy" Cartman laughs before aiming his pee-filled dick at Kyle’s face, unleashing the golden shower, but it's too much. As soon as it hits Kyle's face he goes flying across the room, crashing through the front window and falling outside. This is too much for Kyle though, he was under the impression he was going to be the one tossing Cartman through windows and getting to fuck Mr.Kitty. Something awakens inside his blood, his Jersey enzyme is activating. Kyle looks down at his hands as they start glowing and his body starts hovering above the ground "The monster inside of me has been WOKEd" He grins a nasty grin and starts hovering toward Cartman's house "Ohhhhhhhh Bad Ireeeeeeeene, Kyley B wants to see you, won't you come to me honey, I want to give you some lovin, don't you want some lovin' baby...." Kyle’s dick energy is just reaching critical mass when the door to Cartman’s house swings open. In the doorway stands Bad Irene in all her slutty glory. “The old Irene can’t come to the phone. Why? Because she’s dead.”


End file.
